I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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