I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
