I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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