So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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