The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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