if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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