her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
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then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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