I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
