I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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