that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
