I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
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where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
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P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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