This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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