I love black thongs
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I didn't shave. On purpose
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
