Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
