smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
