Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize