Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
