well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
