at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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