Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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