Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
