You just made me feel so damn special
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Holy sore nipples Batman
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize