a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize