Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
