those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I'm really busy with my period
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