Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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