Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
