69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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