she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My vagina is officially offended.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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