And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Randomize
