At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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