I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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