Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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