Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
