her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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