doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
