it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize