i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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