My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
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I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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