since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
