Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
