Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
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She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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