My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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