I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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