Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
