Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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