this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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