you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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