somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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