I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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