It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
