I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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