I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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