I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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