Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize