There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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