i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
