I cannot find my penis.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize